Showing posts with label bbm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bbm. Show all posts

July 4, 2013

A letter to Blackberry


Dear Blackberry,

First of all, please excuse the amount of swearing words in this letter. I tried writing one without any profanity, but it just didn't vent my feeling well enough. With that being said,

Fuck you.

Blackberry is not a smart phone. In fact, calling it a stupid phone is a disgrace to the word 'stupid.' By definition, a smart phone is... well, smart. Please allow me to sophisticatedly reiterate what makes a phone smart:
  1. IT HAS A CAMERA THAT HAS A BETTER QUALITY THAN A FUCKING POTATO.
  2. YOU CAN TURN THE FUCKING SHUTTER SOUND OFF.
  3. IT HAS A BATTERY THAT LASTS LONGER THAN MY FUCKING ATTENTION SPAN.
  4. IT IS FASTER THAN A FUCKING INTERNET EXPLORER.
  5. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR 5 FUCKING MINUTES EVERY TIME YOU RESTART IT. 
    And above all,
  6. YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING RESTART IT EVERY 24 HOURS.
Granted, it's pretty hard to decide which one is dumber: the phone for being more retarded than Snooki, or me for using it as my phone. But in my defense, I am using Blackberry simply for its Blackberry Messenger. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I won't be able to live without BBM, but I would say it's pretty close. In fact, when BBM went down yesterday, I got so bored that I actually started doing actual work in my office. My boss would probably prefer BBM staying down if it meant me getting some actual work done.

So yeah, like most letters, it just doesn't feel right if there is no question in it. So, here is one. HOW HARD IS IT TO BUILD A FUCKING PHONE AND NOT MESS UP THE ONE THING THAT MAKE PEOPLE BUY YOUR FUCKING PRODUCT? Like, seriously. People buy your shitty phones simply for its Blackberry Messenger and you still managed to fuck that up too? Congratulations.

The most obvious joke has got to be the fact that you guys are developing a BBM for Android and IOS. To which the CEO responded with "OH YES WE DO THIS BECAUSE WE ARE CONFIDENT THAT BB10 IS UP TO PAR WITH ANDROID AND IOS."

BULLSHIT. 

I'm no Steve Jobs but I can fucking predict that with BBM being available to both Android and IOS, you can kiss your sales goodbye. With that being said, please make BBM available in Android and IOS as soon as possible so I can toss this stupid Blackberry away.

With much love,
A dumb user who has been using your dumber-phone for far too long.

June 20, 2013

Tricycles and Indonesia


Disclaimer: This blog post is about economy and -- like most economic reading -- it is boring. Beware, you have been warned.

First of all, allow me to apologize if this writing sucks. My major is Mathematics and while it is not the furthest major away from economics, I'm pretty sure it's quite far. So for all the finance/economy major out there, please stop reading and go read your Bloomberg week or something else.

As you might know or might not care, I have been trading stocks for the past two or three months. And like most traders, some days I win and some days I lose. But this post is not about my trading history and how I managed to fuck up all my transactions. This post is about something else.

When I was 10 year old, my parents decided that it was time for me to learn how to ride a bicycle. And like most kids, I started with a tricycle. After a few days of fiddling with my tricycle, my parents thought that it was time for me to remove the third wheel and start trying a bicycle. I fell several times and managed to scrape both my knee and elbow. I hated them for forcing me to learn how to ride this stupid two-wheeled thing. I thought that I would be fine for the rest of my life with a tricycle.

Ever since I started trading three months ago, I started reading everything that could help me trade better; stuff that I wouldn't have even glanced twice had I not been trading. It was then that an article caught my eye. It's about the Fed chairman - Ben Bernanke - and USA's policy about Quantitative Easing.

For those of you who are not familiar with economics and are too lazy to open Wikipedia, QE basically is a policy exerted by USA to stimulate economy. I'm definitely not the best economist out there, but if I were to put it into my own words, I think it's a lot like pass-go in Monopoly. The monopoly bank (that bearded guy) gives each player $200 every time they pass-go with the sole reason of giving the players money to keep doing whatever it is they are doing.

Now, the world is not a wish-granting factory, and instead of the central bank giving free money to everyone, they buy bonds from other banks in order to increase the reserve of money in other banks, so citizens could still borrow money (thus, increasing job openings). The amount the Fed (USA's central bank) spent to buy bonds from other banks is a whopping USD 85 billion per month. Ouch.

It's obvious that the central bank won't be able to purchase the bonds routinely with the amount of money they had. So, it was necessary that they create money in order to keep this QE thing going; in order to stimulate USA's economy.

I'm sure by now you guys would much rather watch a Youtube video buffering rather than continue reading. But from here on is what I think is disturbing.

So this guy - Ben Bernanke - just held a meeting and a press conference yesterday about Quantitative Easing. He told people things that they already knew but wished they didn't. For Monopoly players who managed to play the game for at least four hours without tearing the board down and ruining your friendship forever, we know that much like the bearded guy won't be able to issue the $200 for every time we pass-go, the QE can't go on forever. This Bernanke guy foresaw that US's economy is turning better with unemployment rate turning lower, and ultimately that he would stop QE by the end of 2013.

How did people react to this? They sneered at Bernanke as if he just brought a plague to them. It's ridiculous how stupid people can be. Bernanke did the right thing (or at least what I deemed to be the proper action to take). What Bernanke did is exactly what my parents did when I was learning how to ride a bicycle. At first I hated them for removing the third wheel, but now I'm thankful. Had I insisted to not learn to ride a bicycle, I woul have been laughed at by other people now. 

This is exactly the same with what Indonesia is facing: subsidized fuel. People keep on protesting about how the government should NOT stop subsidizing fuel. These idiots need to realize that these subsidies are not free and they came from Indonesia's debt. They need to see how stupid riding a tricycle looks, and how people all around them are laughing at tricycles.

Just as other people would laugh at you if you ride a tricycle, other nations are laughing at Indonesia because we keep piling our debts. There is no such thing as a Santa Claus and sometimes, the only way for us to be able to ride a bicycle is by removing the third wheel, riding our bicycle, falling several times and scraping our knees.

Same with Indonesia, the only way for us to be able to develop as a nation is by removing subsidized fuels, putting the subsidies into more important things, such as: infrastructure, education, and/or healthcare. While this might lead to higher inflation rate; one day we would look back to this and said "I'm glad we did that."

There comes a day that we have to remove the third wheel, a day that we graduate from a tricycle and step on to a bicycle. For Indonesia, now is that day.