Are you ready for a relationship?

I saw an Indian couple today, they entered the restaurant I was in and sat down next to me. The Korean waitress came to them and gave them the menu. "Let me know when you guys are ready to order," she said.

The Indian guy put the menu aside and raised his hand, "we are."

Pulling a notebook out of her pocket, the Korean waitress approached them and asked, "what would you like to order?"

"Actually," the guy looked down and flipped the menu, "give us two more minutes."

"Yeah, sure. Just let me know when you're ready," the waitress subtly rolled her eyes and walked away.

 I snorted and thought to myself how silly the guy was (to which the guy responded by glaring at me for the rest of my lunch time). But then I realized how similar he was to me. I used to think I was ready for a relationship. But really, who was I kidding? I wasn't ready for a relationship, not for a real one at least.

How many of us don't even take the time to glance at the menu, put it aside, and simply raise our hands to show that we are ready to order, while in fact, we aren't? It might be easy for us to call off and apologize when the waitress comes. To which she would roll her eyes and shrug it off.

How many of us don't even take the time to look inside ourselves? We find someone we're somewhat interested in and pretend that we are ready for a relationship. And then we would freak out when our crush is actually ready for a relationship, a real one. And we would be like, "uhh. Give me two more weeks."

If you're thinking about getting into a relationship, please, give relationship some more thought before you actually jump into it without much consideration. "Do I really want to be in a relationship with her?", "In a year, will I love her more than I do today?"

Granted, most of you are WAY (and by 'WAY' I mean 'WAYYYYYYY') more mature than me and probably have never even experienced this (and by this I mean being a douchebag). But really, if there is just one person who actually reads this post and decides to give relationships a deeper thought, then I'm glad I took the time to write this.

Untitled.

Please note that this post is just a rant. Read ahead at your own risk.


I have never been the jealous kind of person. Really. Every time someone brags about their successes to me, I always manage to curl a smile, look them in the eyes, and congratulate them. No matter what they're bragging about. Be it their test score, or their new laptop, or their parents-bought new car, I could always do that without exception. Smile. Look them in the eyes. Congratulate. 

But whenever someone brags to me about their life goal, I can't help but be jealous. Whenever someone asks me "what are you gonna do after graduating?", I always have no idea how to reply properly. I just smile dishearteningly and say "I don't know. I'll figure something out later," the problem is I don't have any idea how late is 'later.' It's been a month after graduation and I still have no idea what I truly want to do with my life.

There was once a time when I dreamed to be a singer. But then I heard my own recorded voice and I cried.

There was once a time when I dreamed to be an artist. But then I realized I didn't have the patience to draw the same thing over and over again.

There was once a time when I dreamed to be a doctor. But then I sliced my finger and fainted as soon as I saw blood (okay, definitely not that extreme, but you get my point).

Honestly? I want to be a pro gamer. Not a programmer. A pro gamer. A professional gamer. I mean, the very thought of getting paid simply by doing what I truly like is awesome. But let's be honest, if you're a guy, a "pro gamer" is not the answer your girlfriend's dad is expecting to get when they ask you "what's your job?"So really. A pro gamer is also out of the question.

I'm jealous whenever someone my age already knows what they're going to do with their life. I'm jealous whenever someone my age knows what their talents exactly are. I'm jealous whenever I open Youtube and see Sam Tsui singing so awesomely. Or nigahiga being fluently funny. Or Lindsey Stirling playing violin. Sometimes I blame God for giving me too many talents instead of one epic talent. Sometimes I blame God for not pointing out what I'm supposed to do with my life.

To be completely honest with you, I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just want to rant about this. I know that there are a lot of people who have it rougher than I do. And ranting about this makes me an egoist. But if ranting makes me an egoist, then so be it. Let this be an egoist's rant.