On birthdays

And no. I'm writing this definitely not because today is my birthday or because I have any desire to remind you guys of it so you guys can congratulate me. Okay maybe a little bit.

On a more related note, the very idea of birthday really baffles me. I mean, Why do people congratulate someone on their birthday? It's my birthday today and God damn it, it feels really weird having people congratulate me just because I've survived another Earth's revolution around the Sun. 

I mean, sure, living on Earth is getting harder with each passing day, but I still don't think it's a feat worthy to be celebrated or --even more ridiculous-- to be wished happiness upon. Maybe when someone passes 80 year old or whatever the average life expectancy of human being is, then I believe it's appropriate to wish them a happy birthday. If they have just survived a mere 20 Earth's revolution around the Sun, wishing them a happy birthday sounds more like a mock than anything else.

While I think that the subsequent birthdays following your first are mundane and not worthy to be celebrated, I personally believe that your very first birthday (the day someone's vagina had to be cut and you were shoved head-first through it) is really important. It marks the start of your journey and is the origin of all the stupid birthday wishes you will get starting the following year. 

Not only do I find the idea of celebrating birthday weird, I find the very celebration of birthday even weirder. In some culture, people having birthday have to cut a cake with candles on it and to shut their eyes and pray their wishes before blowing the candles off. In another culture, they have to eat noodles with several red boiled eggs in it (coughchinesecough) because they believe that it is the secret to longevity. I bet you that the first person who convinced his friends that red eggs were the fucking secret to longevity actually sold eggs for a living. 

I hate thinking of myself as growing older, it's probably more appropriate for me to see myself as leveling up. But instead of getting power-ups or amazing abilities every time I level up, the only perk I get is increasing lower back pain every time I wake up from my prolonged sitting period. Ugh.