Why am I still single?

Let's play a guessing game.

How old, do you think, is Earth?

If you're like me and are totally oblivious to geology and history, chances are you might guess around millions. If, for whatever reason, you guessed two thousands years old, please close your browser and tell your parents they gave birth to an idiot. Earth, actually, is 4.54 billion years old. 

How old, then, is Humanity?

The answer for this question varies. Some say it's 6,000 years old. Some say it ranges somewhere between 100,000-200,000 years old. I wouldn't delve into technicality. Yet, my point remains. Humanity is old.

Which brings me to my other question, how old do you think you're gonna be when you die?

Probably 70. Or 80 if you're lucky. Maybe 90. Unless scientists develop some amazing gene manipulation process that would allow gene revitalisation, we inevitably die. I would. You would. For your parents and mine, my pets and yours, your significant other, your children, their children, death is inevitable.

Then what happens when we die? And I'm not talking about life after death or about heaven and/or nirvana or hell. I'm talking about the people we leave behind; what would they do when we die?

Compared to how long Humanity (or Earth) has existed, we're really just a speck of dust in this evolution process. One day, we would die and everyone else we leave behind would cry. Maaayyyybe they would pray or burn some incense.

And then they would move on with their lives. 

Augustus Waters, the protagonist in The Fault in Our Stars admitted that his deepest fear was Oblivion. He feared being forgotten. To have walked off this Earth and forgotten and disregarded as just another mortal. 

Being forgotten is terrible. And I also am afraid of it. Probably second only to cockroaches. Before I die, I would like to leave something, anything. That way when I'm dead and people think of me, they would also think of the things I leave behind. They would look at the scar I gashed on this world, and realise that I. Have. Lived. That I was not just another person who walked this Earth lightly without leaving something.

Which brings me to the title of this post. Why am I single?

Countless people had asked me this question before I decided to write this post. There are so many reasons I could churn as to why I'm not in a relationship: Haven't found the right one, not yet ready financially, still need my freedom, and probably another dozen excuses. But really, the reason I'm still walking alone is because I need to gash a scar in this world; because I want to leave behind something less temporary than myself. And being in a relationship doesn't help me achieve that.

It just so happens that my preferred method of scar-inducing is writing.

What's yours?