The dead, the living, and the in-between.

She was my aunt. My dad's sister. I wasn't really fond of her. In fact, I had hated her so much since she had always hugged me a little bit too tight everytime I saw her. And her hug always smelt like mint oil (or minyak kayu putih in Indonesian). I would always come up with a reason to not come to her house, and it had always ended up with my dad scolding me and me going to her house (this was when I was 10 year old. It was common for a 10 year old to hate huggers. Or at least it was for me).

Now I stood before her as she was lying on a bed. Her hair was barely black and her teeth were sparse. I could vividly remember how enormous she was when she hugged me, yet now if I were to hug her, she seemed like she would shatter anytime. It was as if I absorbed her height (and fat in general, but let's not get into it). Her arms were wobbly, I could make out her bone as her skin and meat (or what's left of it) dangling out of it.

Her eyes wandered from each corner to every other corner. She seemed to not be able to find what she was looking for. When she saw me, her gaze pierced right through me. She wasn't looking at me. No -- she would if she could, her eyes gave up on her and she couldn't see me. I, and everyone else around her, were invisible to her. She looked at my general direction and gasped for air as she opened her mouth.

Her words were scarce and barely audible. Stuttering didn't even begin to explain how she sounded. I looked around, trying to find anyone who could decipher what she was trying to say. But everyone I saw shook their heads. So I looked back at her, held her hands and smiled.

"... shun feng," I could finally pick off something among her sobs. She was crying before I knew it.

I hated Chinese language, so I didn't even bother learning it. But what she said was something that I heard so much since I flew a lot. So much that I didn't have to listen to the whole part to know what she wanted to say.

Yi lu shun feng.

Safe trip. Have a safe journey. May the wind guide you.

To say I was stunned was an understatement. I swore I wouldn't cry anymore after I broke up with my ex like 4 years ago, and I hadn't cried ever since. I guessed I'd need to make an exception for today.