Happy Mother's Day!

I thank my mom for being there when I was learning my ABCs, for being patient when I don't know how to pronounce "R."
I thank my mom for being there when I caught a cold, for changing my cold compress on my forehead every few hours.
I thank my mom for being there when I was hungry, for cooking any food I wanted.
I thank my mom for being there when I needed someone to talk to, for understanding me when noone else could.
I thank my mom for being there when I needed someone to hug, for hugging me when even my pillows didn't want to be hugged.


This is not sarcastic in any way. Not satirical in any way either. Not about me ranting how I just graduated, either. This post is dedicated to the greatest mom in the world; mine. May you take some time today to tell your mom how thankful you are for her. Happy mother's day!

Things I would do to get a job I don't even want.

1. I would go through an additional four years of education.
   
   As if 14 years-worth of education is not enough, we need to make it 18 if we want to even be considered eligible for work. Not to mention all the education that we won't ever use in real life. *cough* humanities and sociology *cough*.
   And of course, a simple 18-years of education isn't enough either. We need to get a good GPA to be considered as potential employee. “Oh you have a 4.0 GPA? No, no, by all means, please tell me more about how you are such a social person.”
   
   
2. I would type a one-page paper full of lies.
   
   The very idea of screening employees using a one-page paper is stupid. “Objective: To obtain a full time position with a company that will benefit from my problem solving skills”? How about,  “Objective: to get money because having to ask money from my parents is just not cool.”
   
   Also, why is “I can sleep while standing” or even “I can drive and simultaneously text and eat instant noodle” not something a company would be impressed with? I mean – no offense to anyone who can't – but if I were the one hiring, I would definitely hire someone who can drive, text, and eat at the same time (they are fucking pro at multitasking).
   
   
3. I would wake up at 7 and work my ass off until 5.
   
   I mean, that's what we do in college anyway, right? Not for some people, I know you guys skip lots of classes, you lazy bastards. Well, I'm probably one of those people (I'm a nocturnal person and I find it hard to sleep at night), but I won't skip work for sure. I mean, skipping classes means you don't get the value of the money you already paid for. While skipping work means you don't get any money. And I would happily take sleeping drugs to sleep early just to prevent me not getting any money.
   
   
4. I would act interested in a company that I'm not even slightly interested in.
   
   I like games, Twitter, Dr. Pepper, and sleeping. Here is a really easy way to see if I'm really interested in a company: if your company makes video games, or allows me to use Twitter at work, or gives me an infinite supply of Dr. Pepper, or lets me nap during work, I would be greatly interested in your company. If not, chances are I fake my interest like most girls do orgasms.
   
   
5. I would lie my ass off during an interview.
   
   (During an interview) What do I like to do during my spare time? Of course playing golf and spending time with my friends in a coffee shop. What? You checked my Facebook and saw my status about Diablo 3? That's nonsense. I definitely value real people more than I value video games. Video games are for kids, anyway.
   Oh, and yes, I look forward to working with your company!

Confession of a grown up

When I was a kid, I always wondered how it would be like to be a grown-up. Not like a bald with wrinkles grown-up, more like a fresh out of college grown-up. As a kid, I always imagined like how it would feel like to be legally able to look at porn drink. Or how it would feel like being able to make money for my own self. Or how it would feel like being able to decide on what I'll spend my money at. Or heck, how it would feel like being able to sleep whenever I want.

But now, I'm a grown-up (well, arguably) and I could totally say that this shit sucks. As a grown up, we're expected to stand up for ourselves. Unlike when we were kids when we could put the blame on the dog every time we broke a vase. Or on late night TV shows every time we couldn't wake up on time for early classes. Or maybe on our bad-influencing friends when our parents caught us swearing. Or on our sisters when we forgot to lock the house's front door (yeah, it was me who forgot to lock the door and daddy scolded you. Ugh, I hope they forget about it already).

Alas, no such thing. You can't shift the blame to anyone as a grown up. You forget to do the job your superior assigned to you? Tough luck, bro (unless you're working in Management-department where everyone can do 'everything' but no one will do anything, then of course you can shift the blame to your inferior). You wake up late for work? Guess what? Your boss doesn't give a shit even if your favorite TV show was on late at night yesterday.

I mean, even the very idea of having to work for eight hours a day as a grown-up baffles me. And I hope my dad isn't reading this (actually, it's okay if he is, he doesn't understand English), but I don't want a stable job where I have to wake up early, take a packed train, sit behind a desk for four hours straight, get a lunch, sit for another four hours, take a packed train, sleep early, rinse and repeat.

I want to go backpacking around the world, doing anything; be it dishwashing, restaurant server, or even floor mopper. I want to see everything the world has to offer. I don't want to get stuck behind a desk. I don't want to live like a romusha. Where all they did was work, eat, and sleep. I want to do something different. I want to go to Japan and star in one of their porn movies (okay, not that extreme). I want to go to Korea and get a plastic surgery on my belly, make it less elastic so I could eat more. I want to go to China and walk across the Great Wall without drinking a drop of water. I want to live off my writing. I want to do so much more. 

To be honest, I don't even know where I'm going with all of this. This is just a rant, and an egoist's one at that. 

Renamed my blog to nyankent.blogspot.com!!

Okay, photoshop is not my biggest strength. Took me like 20 minutes to do this. Whatever.

Several of my friends asked me: why? No reason, really. It's just that I think idkent.blogspot.com sounds a bit too stern. And I like cats. The revelation came to me when I was eating Thai food. So yeah. Here is to my new domain name!