Confession of a grown up

When I was a kid, I always wondered how it would be like to be a grown-up. Not like a bald with wrinkles grown-up, more like a fresh out of college grown-up. As a kid, I always imagined like how it would feel like to be legally able to look at porn drink. Or how it would feel like being able to make money for my own self. Or how it would feel like being able to decide on what I'll spend my money at. Or heck, how it would feel like being able to sleep whenever I want.

But now, I'm a grown-up (well, arguably) and I could totally say that this shit sucks. As a grown up, we're expected to stand up for ourselves. Unlike when we were kids when we could put the blame on the dog every time we broke a vase. Or on late night TV shows every time we couldn't wake up on time for early classes. Or maybe on our bad-influencing friends when our parents caught us swearing. Or on our sisters when we forgot to lock the house's front door (yeah, it was me who forgot to lock the door and daddy scolded you. Ugh, I hope they forget about it already).

Alas, no such thing. You can't shift the blame to anyone as a grown up. You forget to do the job your superior assigned to you? Tough luck, bro (unless you're working in Management-department where everyone can do 'everything' but no one will do anything, then of course you can shift the blame to your inferior). You wake up late for work? Guess what? Your boss doesn't give a shit even if your favorite TV show was on late at night yesterday.

I mean, even the very idea of having to work for eight hours a day as a grown-up baffles me. And I hope my dad isn't reading this (actually, it's okay if he is, he doesn't understand English), but I don't want a stable job where I have to wake up early, take a packed train, sit behind a desk for four hours straight, get a lunch, sit for another four hours, take a packed train, sleep early, rinse and repeat.

I want to go backpacking around the world, doing anything; be it dishwashing, restaurant server, or even floor mopper. I want to see everything the world has to offer. I don't want to get stuck behind a desk. I don't want to live like a romusha. Where all they did was work, eat, and sleep. I want to do something different. I want to go to Japan and star in one of their porn movies (okay, not that extreme). I want to go to Korea and get a plastic surgery on my belly, make it less elastic so I could eat more. I want to go to China and walk across the Great Wall without drinking a drop of water. I want to live off my writing. I want to do so much more. 

To be honest, I don't even know where I'm going with all of this. This is just a rant, and an egoist's one at that.