Questions I would ask an autistic person

Hi.

What's your name? Eric? What's that? Your name is not Eric? Whatever, the closest person to autistic I know has Eric as a name. So let's call you Eric.

For all I know, you might not be an autistic person. You might simply be an obese person. With sleepy eyes. Who doesn't like cutting his toenails. Who dresses sloppily. Who drools every minute. For all I know, you're not autistic, you simply are just still not ready for society. But let's pretend for a moment. Let's pretend your name is Eric. And let's pretend you're autistic.

Hi.

Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up? Five? Exactly. How about now? Three? Wow, so you really can see without problem. So what's the problem with you then?

What's your favorite food? Bulgogi? Really? Hey, we're kinda similar, no? Maybe I'm autistic as well...

Do you know how to make the number 6 from three 0s using any mathematical notation you can think of? What? You give up? One answer is ((0)!+(0)!+(0)!)! It's too hard even for normal people? I guess it is... Oh well.

Let's stop talking about random stuff. How does it feel to be an autistic person in society? Does it feel weird having people look at you as you walk around? Or does it not even bother you in the slightest? I personally don't mind people staring at me as long as I'm sure my hair is not sticking up in some weird places. But you? 

What do you think when people do kindness for you? I always hold the principle that people do kindness for me, simply because (1) they like me, or (2) they're kind. But, if I were like you, I might have to reconsider adding '(3) because they pity me' as one possible reason people are kind to me. Do you feel that way? Or do you not even think and just take their kindness for granted?

Have you been this way since you were a kid? Or did you fall and hit your head as you tried to fix your AC? Eh? Autism is a chromosomal disease and not a physical disorder? You really know your stuff, don't you?

Whoa! Look at that butterfly! Hey? Hey, where are you going? Why are you zealously following the butterfly? I see a butterfly, what do you see? A dragon? Do you seriously think that stupid butterfly is more interesting than me? Fine.

Hi. Are you done chasing that butterfly? Good.

Did you know that 1 in 88 kids has what you have? Which means that there are 80 millions people beside you who have what you have. Does it comfort you that you're not alone? Or do you not even care? It's not the best analogy ever, but if I don't do homework and I see some of my friends haven't done their homework as well, I actually feel relieved. Do you? 

Eh? Your parents are looking for you and you have to go home? One last question. How do you think your parents feel when they understood you're... a bit different? If I had an autistic kid... I don't know what I would do. Honestly? I would prefer not having a kid rather than having an autistic kid. No offense, but even the thought of having a normal kid annoys me, let alone having an autistic kid. 

Okay, thanks for this. Bye! What? Why am I waving my hand? That's the gesture of parting with people. Here, you wave your hand like this... Why do we do this? I have no idea, really. I have been taught like that ever since I was a kid. Bye, Eric! I really hope to see you again, I still have a ton of questions I'd like to ask!

I'm writing this because I actually saw an (arguably) autistic person. And I do wonder how does it feel to be like him. I'm really sorry if I offend anyone with my curiosity. Please know that this post is, by no means, intended to offend people with autism. Or parents who have autistic children.