How to get your personal happily ever after

“I do,” you say.

“Amen,” the pastor opens his eyes and makes a crossing gesture across his head, stomach, and shoulders. “You may now kiss the bride.”

As you lift up the veil, you see a girl, smiling. The girl that you think was made for you. The girl that you will spend the rest of your days with. Your 'happily ever after' girl of your dream. You look around to catch a glimpse of her dad giving you the approving thumbs-up. Apart from you in a tux and she in her wedding dress, the kiss feels a lot like your everyday kiss with her.

“I will love you forever,” she says as she breaks away from the kiss.

“I will love you forever, too,” you pull her back in for more kisses.

You naively think that your 'happily ever after' starts now.

All of a sudden, you wake up to a girl, only to realize that you will wake up to the same girl for the next 50 years. And during the first year, you start seeing whatever it is in her that you didn't see in her before.

Oh my God. She doesn't shave her legs in winter.
Oh my God. She pours the milk before cereal.
Oh my God. She doesn't like Dr. Pepper.
Oh my God. She doesn't like Paramore.
Oh my God. I have to keep the knives away from her during her PMS.
Oh my God...

By each passing year, she gets considerably worse. From “doesn't shave in winter” to “doesn't shave." From “doesn't like” to “hate." From “still somewhat tolerable” to “intolerable." What you thought would be 'happily ever after' turns out to be a simple 'happily a year after.'

Things that you thought you could live with. But really, who are you kidding? Those are the things that you know very well you can't live with. Your dream girl turned out to be a lot like your sister (oh God, I hope my sisters are not reading this. If you are reading this, I'm just kidding of course, I love you two so much), and you like her less by each passing day. Your memory flashed back to a year ago when you kissed her. I will love you forever, too. And deep down inside, you start wondering how long forever lasts.

I'm sorry for bursting your bubbles, but let's face it. Happily ever after doesn't exist. It only existed in once upon a time. There are always problems with relationships. Really. Even deciding where to eat sometimes turns out to be problematic (this is coming from a 20 year old guy who has only been once in a relationship, so don't take this too seriously).

The problem with most relationships is that we start taking our partner for granted. Instead of appreciating them, we ignore them. We think of them as our own family; and in the same way you wouldn't try to keep your sister as your sister, you don't go out of your way to keep your partner as your partner. You take them for granted. And nothing could be worse than that.

If you're in a relationship and you feel like you're starting to take them for granted, just think back to the time when you first met them. When you first talked to them. When you got their first text. When you gave up your sleeping time just to simply talk with them. When you pause your game to reply their texts. When you refused going to a party simply to spend more time with them. When spending time shopping with them sounds way better than sleeping. When watching Twilight suddenly doesn't sound so bad if you do it with them.

Quoting my review on 'Stupid and Contagious', here is what Heaven Albright thinks about love:

“Love is pretty much a decision anyway. Just like happiness. You can decide to either love someone or not, be happy or not. The rest is just commitment to the idea.”

As I said before, happily ever after existed only in once upon a time. But if you actually make the decision to NOT take them for granted, then your once upon a time would definitely come someday. And in turn, your happily ever after.

May you be happy. Here and now, there and forever after.